Tomorrow makes 10.

The following poem, is perhaps, my favorite piece of writing. It reminds me of many very important things, and I'm ashamed to say that it's been about 14 months since I last read it. It sprung to mind today with things going on lately...

The Invitation

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

Gearing Up for My Triumphant Return

So, I've gotten myself super-psyched about my theatre company, and I'm hoping that the first production will be Equus, directed by Brian. He's been talking about it forEVER. Well, I finally got around to reading it. It's brilliant. (And hey, maybe I can convince Brian to spend some time at the farm with me, studying the horses... I won't make him ride, I suppose.)

I'm also spending a lot of time figuring out budgeting figures. I think it could be possible to produce this play in Manhattan for about $6000. I also think that we can make that amount back, in a two week run. All the pieces are coming together... I'm being reminded of how much of a high it is to really create theatre. Not this community/HS crap... that's so NOT art. Fun yes, art, no!

I'm rediscovering my voice and remembering exactly why my classmates believed in me so much!

(Second show... Stop Kiss perhaps???)

Why are people mean?

Man, it's no wonder I've become so negative this past year. People around here are just bitter, nasty, individuals. I won't go into details because I don't know who reads this, but ya try to do somebody a favor and they bite your head off. geez.

In happy land, my call-back went just fine. The lady from the theatre called me this morning to make sure I was still coming since she hadn't returned my calls about what to prepare. I quickly learned a song from the show in my car and did that and read sides. It was good. Not spectacular, but good. I also saw Jessica Kademenos who was in Secret Garden with me in the fall.

I'm bored, looking for things to do. I have a shirt to make and some choreography to work on, so maybe that will be my day... we'll see.

Song for the Month of June

"No More" from Into the woods

Running away - let's do it,
Free from the ties that bind.
No more despair
Or burdens to bear
Out there in the yonder.

Running away - go to it.
Where did you have in mind?
Have to take care:
Unless there's a "where,"
You'll only be wandering blind.
Just more questions,
Different kind.

Where are we to go?
Where are we ever to go?

Running away - we'll do it.
Why sit around, resigned?
Trouble is, son,
The farther you run,
The more you feel undefined
For what you have left undone
And, more, what you've left behind.

We dissapoint
We leave a mess,
We die but we don't...
_______________________________

Been a long weekend, and it's only Saturday. Did a 25 mile bike trip with the middle school on Friday. It was a lot of fun and I made it with absolutely no problems. Not a sore muscle! Went to Brian's new place afterwards. His apartment is pretty nice, his roommates seem cool, and it sounds like his show is going to be very interesting. This morning we got up and went grill shopping. He finally decided on a portable propane grill at Dick's. I left there and stopped at Barnes and Noble in Camp Hill on my way home, hoping to see Colette. She wasn't working. But I did get a copy of Into the Woods for my callback at the Fulton on Monday.

Speaking of which, I have no idea what I'm suppoed to prepare for that. Not a clue. I returned the call three times and still haven't heard back, so I'm just gonna show up and hope for the best. I figured I'd stop at Menchey's on the way home to get the sheet music or the score. York didn't have it, but Hanover did, so I raced over to Hanover (50 minutes from York) only to get there at 5 and they had already closed. Of course they are closed on Sunday adn Monday. So I'm going to read the script and listen to the CD about fifty million times. The innate problem with this show is that there about 5 roles I could be seen for so I can't even focus on anything.

Anyhow, then I came home and replied to a thing about filming a commercial over at Raven's Stadium next weekend. Hopefully I'll get that too!

That's all for now, I guess.

In happier news..

My brother Steven, brought me a copy of Monty Python's Spam-a-lot. This might be the funniest thing I've ever heard (outside of the "Shut-up" song from Poseidon of course). I guess the true test will be for those who don't know Monty Python to find it as funny as those of us who do. Hopefully it's not all inside jokes. Of course, if you don't know any Monty Python you oughta be shot.

Scott and Zelda

Click on the title of this post.

This hurts my heart, the way a bad breakup does...

Get a Free Ipod...

http://www.freeiPods.com/?r=10662955

Click on this link and fill out the stuff and we can both get a free ipod. I have friends who've done this and say it's all legit!

The Tonys

So the Tony nominations came out.

I wasn't nominated, again this year.

I just don't get it. Why don't they like me? I'm beautiful, I'm talented.

Oh right... Broadway... haven't done Broadway yet.


Anyhow, I'm very sorry to say that I haven't seen any of this years nominees. (Disgraceful, I know) But, I'm really hoping for Spamalot to take everything, as only a play named after fake canned meat should. No really, Eric Idle and his cast of Pythons are fantastic (errr, I think they are, as I haven't seen it yet...)

The one category I won't be able to pick someone from is Leading Actress in a Play: Laura Linney, Cherry Jones, Phyllicia Rhashaad, Kathleen Turner, and Mary-Louise Parker.

Wow.

This is about right:

Your Birthdate: October 17

Your birth on the 17th day of the month suggests that you are very lucky financially, because this date indicates a solid business sense. Although you are probably very honest and ethical, this birthday enables you to be shrewd and successful in the world of business and commercial enterprise. You have excellent organizational, managerial, and administrative capabilities enabling you to handle large projects and significant amounts of money with relative ease. You are ambitious and highly goal-oriented, although you may be better at starting projects than you are at finishing them. A sensitivity in your nature, often repressed below the surface of awareness, makes it hard to give or receive affection.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?