Rough seas ahead

Somedays I feel like I'm just floating, out of control, in the middle of a rough ocean.

I told someone about my fear of not being needed yesterday. I'm exhausted. I didn't sleep well last night. And I don't seem to be able to pass information just by thinking it. At one point I woke up to Norah Jones' "Come Away With Me" and felt the overwhelming desire to cry my eyes out. Who knows why.

I don't want to be dead weight, but I'm afraid if I said all the things I was thinking, you'd be long gone.

I've never held so much of what I'm feeling back in my life.

I'm thinking about going back to a paper journal. You know, the kind you hide under your mattress. Maybe expressing myself on paper will make up for what I can't say out loud.