Kate's Ramblings

A day-to-day insight to the world of the struggling artist... live vicariously!

Sunday, June 06, 2004

In response to Mr. Beeson and Mr. Long

Man, Talon's most recent weblog post and Geoff's response to it have really put me in a funk. It generally talks about women's behavior in regard to relationships. I can't help wondering if what's going on between Geoff and I instigated any part of that post. The thing is that we (women) can't make adjustments, can't fix things unless men express to us through words (not telekinesis) that something is bothering them. I know that I've always been willing to listen to anything a guy I'm dating has had to say, but the problem comes up when he won't say anything. I can't help feeling that if Geoff had been honest with me about this last situation, instead of just assuming I could figure out what was wrong even though he wasn't telling me, I would've been able to better deal with it. Instead, for two weeks I was left guessing and trying to put the pieces together. It was rough, at one point I worried that he was dead. It drove me absolutely insane. The good news is that I'm recovering. The bad news is that the only way I know to recover is to become cold and distant - two of the biggest complaints about women. What to you want me to do? Wallow in my sadness and grief until I die? Forget it. Yes, I'm sad and hurt, but I can't continue to waste entire days wishing that I could fix things.

So to answer Talon's question: I can't speak for all women. However, what I want is someone who likes me, who is willing to grow with me through the good and the bad, because there will be bad. Someone who understands that relationships are never stagnant, but ever changing and is willing to let go and ride the waves. Someone who can teach me things and wants to learn from me also. Most importantly, I want someone who will let me try to make them happy. Men have walls too. So when I find one who will let those walls down, I'll know I've done well...

I've never been one to group all men into a category. I've known too many, I guess. I've met a few men that I could be willing to spend my life with. But the thing is, it's such a careful balance to find that perfecct relationship.


At 4:31 PM, Blogger talon said...

hmmmm... unfortunately Kate, that seems to be the exception to my rant. Women don't usually want to talk about things, at least in my expierence... they prefer to let it sit... not fun... of course I am aware that in different situations people react differently. And to that end, women adn men share the same flaws. But stero-types exist for a reason and how many times have we heard the stereotype of women expecting men to know what they want and what they're thinking with out telling them... often I'm afraid.

The most important point of all of this is simple: Those who complain about the other sex has no right to do so in seriousness... Both sexes do the same thing and both sexes blame the other sex for doing it.

Oh yeah... it's a viscious circle.


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